Hello, It’s Me Again ~ A Love Letter Through Time
Hello, it’s me again. It seems I keep returning. Flying back into your life. This time around I’ve managed four years six months without seeing you and almost a year of no contact at all. Through time, through distance, through absence, through various other relationships you still affect me in a way I can not quantify or contain. You are so solid. So alive. Comfort and familiarity. Fate and destiny. From the moment I met you you’ve been part of my destiny. I just do not know if you are part of my fate.
By rediscovering you again I learn more about myself. I am okay with uncertainty. I am okay with you pulling me close to only push me away. To ask more than you are wiling to give is futile and a certain path to a deep ache. But then, that is precisely one of the traits I love about you. That you charm and excite all who come into contact with you. You charm and excite me even after fourteen years. To recharge I go where I am comfortable. You have always been comfort to me, that’s why I keep coming back.
While so many call Paris their favorite, and so many love Rome, or London, or New York, I unconditionally love the solid subtle raw strength of Edinburgh with its faulty winding alleyways with all its twists and turns and the fact one always seems to be going uphill. Just like I love the solid subtle strength of you. Faults, twists, turns, and all. You came to my city and fit in like you’ve always belonged. Like you were meant to be there.
I do not pretend to understand any of it. Or you. Or me. But here is the funny thing, I trust it. I trust the entire thing. Even if I go West and North. Even if I am not certain of your love. I trust it. There is a raw truth to it.
So when next we fly into each others lives, or next time I meet you on the bridge with a case of beer in hand, or next time you fly over to cheer me on in a race, simply continue doing what you’ve always done. Never telling me what you think I need to hear, never judging, always ready to laugh, always ready to go on an eight-hour bus ride while making sure my pink wine cup is packed for the adventure. Continue being you and continue doing what you must do.
This is not only a love letter but it’s a thank you note as well, for with each rediscovery of you, I find myself.