Lessons In Trusting The Universe
“How often I found where I should be going only by setting out for somewhere else.” ~ R. Buckminster Fuller
The thing about being an ambivert (n. a person who is intermediate between an extrovert and an introvert.) is that when I’m in extrovert mood I can glean, even from the quietest of whispers, what one is not saying. I can extract even the smallest of ideas or information. While in introvert mood and hiking through the Sequoia National Park and through the Sierra-Nevada mountains, I’d heard whispers of a hard-to-reach waterfall deep within the Sequoia’s…. but that it was a “strenuous” hike, that there was a lot of poison oak, that it was hard to find, and that it was difficult to get to.
It was one of those days where I KNEW I needed to get back with nature, that I needed some solitude, that I needed to quiet the mind, that I needed to quiet the damn voices of uncertainty in my head, and most of all I KNEW that I needed to start listening, once again, to my heart. But I was feeling so damn ambivalent. Ambivalent about where to go, how far to go, what to pack, what time to leave, what to pack for lunch, should I even pack a lunch, should I perhaps just fuckin stay in bed and fuck it all, close my eyes and think of nothing and nobody?
But the need for solitude and nature won out. So I found myself parking at the first place that mentioned anything of trails. I had decided to simply wing in. I had my trail map and I did pack a lunch and enough water for approximately 8 hours of hiking. I hit the first trail I came across and went about a half mile when I came across this sign…
And that’s when I remembered the waterfall whispers. I took my trail map out and knew right there and then this was where I needed to go, that this is where I needed to find, this is where I needed to be…
And the trail was most definitely not an easy hike.
But, without a doubt, the views were all definitely worth it.
I kept going. But the trail became more strenuous, more steep, more difficult. And I started hearing the voices that said it was “a strenuous hike”, “that there was a lot of poison oak”, “that it was hard to find”, and “that it was difficult to get to” and I was actually thinking about turning back…
I’ve wondered for… ever… Why do I do things the opposite of others? Why do I do things that don’t make sense to most people? Why didn’t I just fuckin go with the status quo? How fuckin easier life would be if I just did *it* the way everyone else did. Sometimes. It was just so frustrating, and so lonely, and so tiring to follow a voice that no one else heard.
And then I heard it. But it was so so very soft, just barely a sound at all…
And I remembered. Throughout most of my life it’s been that soft, tiny, barely audible whisper that has guided me through the the most difficult of times…. It has gotten me from Point A to Point B intact and stronger for it.
An invisible guide lighting the way…
Can you see it? Not so invisible now… Bottom right corner….
And the first thing I said to myself when I realized what I was actually seeing…. “Shit. This. Can. NOT. Be. For. Real.”
And I remembered how many other times I had said that. My entire life has been a series of “This can’t be for real” moments. From hitch-hiking across the former Yugoslavia at the age of 16. To standing in the middle of a crack house with no money and no vehicle and no nothing and finding my way home, to sitting on top of a mountainside with the United States Army, to getting through nursing school, to taking care of the sickest of sick patients who were in moments wavering between life and death, to staring down a high-ranking Saudi Arabian Religious Police member threatening to take me to a Saudi prison, to climbing mountains in the most remote places of the world, by myself, to packing up my car and relocating to California, to climbing the world-renowned Half Dome in Yosemite, to hiking in the Sequoia National Park and coming across this. This. This fuckin waterfall that everyone had said was TOO DIFFICULT to find….
And always, always, coming down to a “this can not be for real” moment….
As I sat at this waterfall, I knew, it was reconfirmed to me that I simply needed to trust, trust that The Universe had my back. Period.
Say it again. Let it sink in…
Trust the process.
Thrust the story.
I promise you, it will all fall into place.
Trust that The Universe has your back. Sometimes it may feel safer to coast in fear and ride along with everyone else. The one thing that I don’t like about myself is the one thing I most admire about myself. Have faith in your heart, get out of your head, what feels right to you has no bearing on what the next person may think. I found the waterfall, despite the hardship and the poison oak of getting there – I found it. And it was, by far, the best hike I have yet had. And what a perfect metaphor for life….
Trust The Universe.